9.20.2005

Doubts

So, here I am again. Doubting my career choice. Six months ago or so, I was in the same position. I have struggled with this everyday that I have been in Speed School. Should I question it that much? Lately, it's been hitting harder because co-op is so close and I feel that this will have the last say. I am torn because I don't really hate my classes, I just don't think that I am cut out to be an engineer. I want to teach. I want to help people along their journeys through life. I don't feel that chemical engineering will provide me with the same opportunity for this as high school teaching will. What most people don't understand is that I did not just think of this today, I just chose to share it with you today. It's on my mind every time I am doing an MEB problem with reactors and flow rates and all that stuff. So, those of you who read this. Don't be surprised in a few months when I decide that I am done with this stuff.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harp, the pieces will fall into place eventually. I just came to the realization not too long ago about what i feel called to do. If you wanna talk about it sometime, give me a shout.

ya boy,

Ryan Watson

1:45 AM  
Blogger Mikey said...

I'm not so sure what I want to do either. I just figure whatever happens, happens.

10:39 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

I know that what's meant to be will happen, but I'm the kind of person that likes a plan. I guess I will just have to learn how to be patient.

10:41 PM  
Blogger Matt Dattilo said...

Katie, my path in life has changed more times than I care to remember, but one thing is certain: I should've stayed in school. No matter, what you do, get a degree.

Regret is a hell of a thing to live with and, as your grandfather says, time will go by no matter what you do. And, for the record, I think you'd be a wonderful teacher.

12:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Katie, If you went to speed school it must be a fact that at one time you really wanted this. something called you to this. Engineers DO change people's lives for the better. Maybe people don't come back to you years later and say "If you hadn't come up with a solution to that problem I wouldn't be where I am today" but they do some really important work that does affect people's lives. You're young so don't make any rash decisions!

8:23 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

The last person who commented...this is all I've heard about my decision. Negativity. Do you know how terrible it is when you have wanted to do something your whole life and when you express this to people they throw it back in your face and criticize it? Of all the people who know about what I am thinking about doing, only a small handful are in any way supportive. You may argue that this is because everyone thinks that I would be a good engineer. Is it? Are they really listening to what I have to say about how much I don't like it? Or do they just think that they are so much better than anyone else on the other side of Eastern Parkway that they don't want me to become one of them? You have no idea how hurtful it is to me when no one cares enough to actually listen to what I have to say.

7:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Katie, I didn't mean to come off as being negative about your career choice. You're a big girl and are more than capable of making any decision you want. I made the point that you did enroll in speed school so at one point you must have wanted to go there. You must have dreamt of being an engineer at some point or you wouldn't have enrolled there. If you think hard and long on this and you come out saying you want to be a teacher then more power to you. I've kept up with your blog and You have raised this issue before. Don't quit just because you want to change the world because one day when you're 40 you will be in a class of teenagers who mostly don't care about you or what you have to say and you'll forget all about this "save the world" stuff. No negativity here. Although I don't know you personally I think you have alot of potential and you will suceed no matter what field you choose. I just warned against any rash decisions that you may regret later in life. You're a good person Katie. May you have much happiness in your life.

7:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This all came out after a little thinking on my part, which is scary. This is not intended to make you mad, so don't be. It's just what one of your friend's thinks.

Your friends do listen to you, more than you will ever know. You have thought about leaving Speed off and on for a long time. It is only natural for your friends to give you advice because they want to help you in any way possible. Maybe this was not the best avenue to help, but at least we are trying. It is your choice whether you act on this advice or not. You have to make this decsion for yourself. You seem very uncertain. In a post just 15 days earlier you said you liked the engineering thing now. You must decide, there is no gray area here.

You say that you want to be a teacher. Great! Then do it. If you are certain of this, then why do you plan on taking a co op job in the spring. This will only waste your time and further delay your journey to becoming a wonderful teacher. Not only will you be cheating yourself of happiness by working a job you hate and will never use, you are also cheating the other chemical engineer wanna be's that are in your classes now. There are other students that would love to have whatever job you end up taking. This is not fair to those who have no doubt that engineering is for them, but life is not fair.

As a side note, going on more interviews will not help you decide if you should take a job. You must define what you want to do for yourself. Well, I'm starting to sound like Fay now, so I guess I will get off my soap box.

No matter what you decide, all of your friends and I will be there to support you and you mean more to us than you will ever know.

6:10 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Thank you anonymous. I know that my friends are here to support me, and they are very much appreciated. This is a big decision for me. And I want to go on co-op to make sure I will make the right decision. It is impossible for me to know what an engineer does by sitting in a classroom all day and writing material balances. Whatever happens, will happen for the best. I just have to wait.

7:22 PM  

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